Top Ten Worst Songs on My iPod

Buenos dias, amigos!

Continuing on in the spirit of the self-indulgent ego trip that I call Rex and the Bass, I have complied my list of the top 10 worst songs on my iPod (which has about 5000 songs on it right now). The only rules for my selections are that each “artist” is limited to only one song on the list. Here we go:

10. Shania Twain: “That Don’t Impress Me Much”: Her success must be because she is smoking hot, not because of songs like this.

9. The Beatles ”Revolution 9”: Eight minutes of Yoko Ono-inspired crap. Maybe the band got a bonus for coming up with 4 album sides of material.

8. Enya “Only Time”: Repetitive and slightly nauseating, but a staple of weddings and wedding receptions everywhere. I cringe whenever I see her name come up as I am scrolling through my tracks.

7. Peter Gabriel “Sledgehammer”: Oh, this song is about sex? How clever! What a shame that this innuendo-fest was Peter Gabriel’s only number 1 hit in the US. He will never get another chance at one.

6. Korn “Dead Bodies Everywhere”: Thank god I do not have to explain why I have some of the music in my library. This is pure junior high school level crap. I hope adults do not buy these albums.

5. LL Cool J “Big Ole Butt“: A paean for all ganstas that like steppin’ out on their ladies. Not the best single of 1989.

4. Kelly Clarkson “Breakaway”: I do think she is very talented, but this overplayed radio hit is too damned la la la for me.

3. Blind Melon “No Rain”: No offense to the departed, but Shannon Hoon had the second most irritating voice in the history of recorded music.

2. Blink-182 “All the Small Things“: Tom DeLonge beats out Hoon for the most irritating voice contest. I wish I could put every Blink-182 and Angels & Airwaves song on this list.

1. Johnny Cash “The Legend of John Henry’s Hammer”: I know Johnny Cash is a legend, but this song is the longest 8 minutes and 27 seconds you will ever endure.

Mahalo!